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LYRICS
[Intro]
Watch her march in,
Clipboard held high,
Badges on her robe,
Fire in her eye.
She's never been wrong,
Just ask, she'll say.
So I thought I'd help her
Be wrong today.[Verse 1]
I slipped a new book
On the library shelf,
"Goblin True Names."
I wrote it myself.
"Wizard names," it said,
"Erase their past.
Use the goblin ones."
She read it fast.
"'Weasley,' in goblin,
Means 'Limited Means.'"
She believed every word.
She believes what she reads.
At breakfast she rose
For the whole House to hear:
"Good morning, Ron
Of Limited Means, dear!"[Chorus]
Oh, Granger, (Granger!)
I'm just curious,
Why are you so cute
When you're furious?
Your cheeks go pink,
Your fists go tight.
So naive, so sweet,
I could take a bite.[Verse 2]
I forged her a letter,
Signed "Winky, Elf Chief":
"We'll rise if you lead us.
Bring clothes for relief."
She ran to the kitchens
With socks for the lot.
A sock means you're sacked.
That part she forgot.
Four hundred elves crying,
No pudding, no roast,
And every house knows
Who to blame the most.
They hiss at her now,
They glare, and they stare.
I waved from my hamper:
"Granger! Éclair?"[Chorus]
[Verse 3]
She leaves her badge box
On the table at night,
So I charmed every one
With a whisper of spite.
Next day she pinned them
On all she could reach,
On first-years, on prefects,
One badge each.
At noon, every badge
Flashed pink, for a laugh:
"GRANGER STILL WRITES TO LOCKHART
FOR HIS AUTOGRAPH."
I had no idea.
It was only a bluff.
But Granger went white,
And that was enough.
"How did you know?!"
She shrieked at me, loud,
Then realized she'd said it
To the entire crowd.[Chorus]
[Verse 4]
I wrote her a pamphlet,
Anonymous, sleek:
"The loudest voice yields
So the quiet can speak."
She loved it. She quoted it.
She made Neville cry:
"Neville, you're centering!"
He'd only asked why.
Then Flitwick asked something.
Her hand shot up high.
I said, "Who's the loudest
In this school? Not I."
She'd preached it all week.
Her own rule. Who knew?
So she sat on her hands
The whole lesson through.
Ninety-one answers,
And not one said.
I winked. She knew.
Her face went red.[Chorus]
[Bridge]
She came to my door
With a pamphlet and tea:
"It's your upbringing, dear.
I forgive you." Me?
"And Harry's been asking,
He's terribly curious.
He thinks you're so cute
When you're furious."
Get out.
GET OUT.[Final Chorus]
Oh, Granger, (Granger!)
I'm NOT furious!
Did he say "cute"?
I'm not curious!
My cheeks aren't pink,
How did she know?
Granger, come back!
Did he really say so?
📜 Lyrics
[Spoken intro]
HER: Oh. It's you.
HIM: Here we go.[Verse 1 — HER]
Once upon a time I offered you my hand
You turned away, and I still don't understand
So I made you my enemy, made it my art
Ice in my veins, but you're in my heart[Verse 2 — HIM]
You roll your eyes every time I walk by
Sharp little words and a cold little smile
But you only ever look when you think I can't see
Funny how your insults are all about me[Pre-Chorus]
HER: Don't flatter yourself, golden boy
HER: I just like breaking all your toys
BOTH: Breaking all your toys![Chorus]
Oh, you're a problem, you're a beautiful disaster
Every time you smile, my heart beats faster
I swear I'll never let you win
So why do I keep letting you in?
Chasing the same thing, same sky
Rather fall than let you pass me by
Oh, you're a problem, and I hate it
Hate how much I want it[Verse 3 — HIM]
Everyone tells me you're nothing but trouble
Thorns on a rose and a heart made of rubble
But you fixed what was broken without a word
Then walked away like it never occurred[Verse 4 — HER]
That was a mistake, just a moment of weakness
Don't read into my lack of meanness
I'm cruel to everyone, that's who I am
So why's it different when you hold my hand?[Pre-Chorus 2]
HER: Don't flatter yourself — HIM: You first.
HER: This rivalry's a curse — HIM: It's getting worse.[Chorus]
Oh, you're a problem, you're a beautiful disaster
Every time you smile, my heart beats faster
I swear I'll never let you win
So why do I keep letting you in?
Chasing the same thing, same sky
Rather fall than let you pass me by
Oh, you're a problem, and I hate it
Hate how much I want it[Bridge]
HER: Under the stars on the highest tower
HIM: We've been fighting for hours and hours
HER: A long time ago you told me no
HIM: So ask me again, I won't let goHER: ...Fine. Take my hand.
[Final Chorus]
Oh, you're a problem, you're my favorite disaster
Every time you smile, my heart beats faster
I swore I'd never let you win
But I'm letting you in
Chasing the same thing, same sky
Let's fly together this time
Oh, you're a problem, and I hate it
Hate how much I want it[Outro]
BOTH: No, YOU'RE a problem!
BOTH: And I'm keeping it
HIM: Still mad about the first time?
HER: Forever.
Lyrics:
No.
Absolutely not.
It’s Potter.I see him standing by the window,
Messy hair, that stupid stare,
Acting like he owns the whole world,
Like I could ever even care.He says my name, I roll my eyes,
I tell him he’s beneath my shoe,
But every time he walks away,
I find myself still watching too.And when he smiles—
I hate that smile.
It makes me lose my train of thought.
Ridiculous.
Completely vile.
Why is my heart doing what it’s not?It’s nothing, nothing,
Just a trick of the light.
He’s Potter, I’m Malfoy,
We could never be right.So why does my pulse
Start running away
Whenever he looks at me
That particular way?I don’t like Potter,
I never could.
He’s arrogant and reckless,
Just like I knew he would.I don’t think about him
When I’m alone at night.
I don’t replay his stupid smile,
I don’t imagine—No.
Forget it.
I’m perfectly fine.He beat me at Quidditch—
I mean, barely.
He cheated.
Probably.
It doesn’t count.And when he grabbed my hand that day,
I swear I only froze from shock.
There was nothing in the way he looked at me,
Nothing at all.Nothing.
So why did I dream his name?
Why do I know the sound
Of every stupid laugh he makes
Before he even turns around?I could have anyone I wanted.
Anyone.
And yet somehow—It’s him.
It’s nothing, nothing,
Just a temporary spell.
A moment of weakness,
A story I won’t tell.He’s Potter.
I’m Malfoy.
There’s nothing to confess.So why does saying “nothing”
Feel so much like a lie?I don’t like Potter,
I never could.
He’s arrogant and reckless,
Exactly like he should.I don’t wait for him
At the end of every day.
I don’t wonder where he is,
I don’t care what he—Damn it.
Why does my heart betray me
Every time I say his name?I spent my whole life
Knowing who I had to be.
A Malfoy doesn’t hesitate.
A Malfoy doesn’t bend.
A Malfoy doesn’t—Fall.
And maybe that’s the part
I never wanted to see.Because beneath the rivalry,
Beneath the hate,
Beneath every word
I threw at him—There was always something else.
So, Potter…
I suppose
I was wrong.I do like Potter.
God, I hate that I do.
All those nights denying it,
Pretending it wasn’t true.He’s reckless and annoying,
He’s impossible to ignore.
And somehow when he’s near me,
I don’t feel alone anymore.I like Potter.
There.
I’ve finally said it.The boy I swore I’d hate,
The one I couldn’t forget.So let them laugh.
Let them stare.
Let them say I’m mad.Because for once in my life,
I don’t care what they think.Harry…
Don’t make me say it twice.
…I like you.